I think it's time for a change.

I have noticed that I haven't really had time to do much of anything these days.  I am taking my series 7 the first week of May, and have been very overwhelmed with everything leading up to that.  I now work Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday, 7am to 6pm.  So that means no going out on Friday nights, cause I gotta drag my ass outta bed at 5am on Saturday morning.  And when I do get time off work, I am exhausted and spend all my time studying.  So I have no life.

But yesterday, I was feeling like I had had enough of feeling like an anti-social troll.  So I decided to go out to lunch with some of the coolest guys on my team.  We went down to Seven Bridges, cause they got free pool at lunch.  But it's also a bar (in the Gordon Biersch chain).  So we got some small beers, sandwiches, and 3 of us played cut throat while waiting for the food.  It was so much fun, I hadn't been out and done anything fun in like a month or more so it was seriously overdue.  But unfortunately the strap on my one of my pumps broke when I was attempting this badass shot.  So I was walking around the rest of the day like a freak, but I didn't care.

My company is fine with us having a beer at lunch, which is unusual to me.  I only had one, but drinking in the middle of the day always makes my face pink for like the rest of the day.

After work, my friend Leanne invited me to a baby shower for one of her friends.  She said that lots of her girl friends would be there so it would be a good time for me to meet more girls and get a chance to make friends here in Jacksonville.  So I decided to go.

She failed to mention that they were like seriously stinking rich.  Turns out the baby shower was in like one of the biggest houses I'd ever stepped foot in.  It was more than opulent.  I was in awe.  It was perfectly decorated.  And out back, they were right on the river.  So they had a huge pool, garden area, and not to mention the BIG ASS fucking luxury yacht they had parked out back.  I'd only seen these on the river, never up close and personal.  It looked like this:

Yacht

They had it closed up because there was a huge storm working it's way through the area at the time.

The baby shower was a huge party, over a hundred people there.  I felt so out of place there.  Everyone was so beautiful and perfect, none of the women worked.  They were all perfectly color coordinated and accessorized.  Not to mention, a bunch of rich, catty, southern women.  And I was walking around like a freak cause my shoe was broken, my face was pink from drinking in the middle of the day, and my hair was getting puffier by the minute because of the storm.  I felt like such a charity case.

I hate feeling like that.  I felt awkward and I didn't like it.  I am so tired of turning myself into a freak for this fucking job.  I've had it.  I am done with this shit.  I know the exam is only 4 weeks away.  But I feel like I've been doing it for years now.  I seriously can't stand it anymore.