Miss Joy

New York!

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 15:01:18 -0400

I'm in New York for a quick vacation. It's nice to be away from the daily grind. So here's what on my To Do list:

H&M
see a show
vintage/resale shops in the village
dim sum
go to a club
have cocktails
flirt with a sexy foreigner
eat lots of good food
get up early and see a filming of the Today show
walk around Wall Street and see sexy-ass guys in nice clothes

Feel free to drop me any suggestions. But I'm only here until Sunday.

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QotD: Crush Confession

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:49:56 -0400

On whom do you have your most embarrassing/scariest crush?
Submitted by Jillzey.

Oh, I think anyone who knows me, already knows the answer to that question!! ;)

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My Birthday.

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 00:03:35 -0400

Monday was my Birthday. I am a little down on myself right now. I'm 33 years old today. I am feeling good about the career path I am currently on, and the fact that I have a house. But, I just can't believe how messed up my personal life is. I can't get passed a second date with any guy lately, I'm infatuated with a guy friend of mine who is 10 years younger than me, and I think I need start therapy because I can't seem to get my head right on my own. I work the night shift, and chose that so I could sleep in, in the mornings. I drink with a bunch of 22 year old boys. I feel like I am the girl who will never grow up. I feel like I can get away with it for right now, but it will seriously be pathetic if I am partying like a frat boy when I'm 40 or something.

I hate birthdays.

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I moved!

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 09:02:30 -0400

I am tired, sore, and just exhausted. I finally moved out of that ghetto ass apartment. I really hated it there, it was the first time in my life I ever absolutely HATED where I was living.

My friend Leanne and her mom helped me pack and unpack. It was so sweet. Her mom even organized my kitchen for me. It was just precious. They even took me to Lowe's to help me buy a lawnmower. Since I'm a single home owner again now, I'm gonna have to start doing all that stuff again.

It's nice to have a place of my own again. The last time I was a home owner was when I was married to Brian. Makes me miss him sometimes. But, then again, I've grown so much and come so far since we split. I am so much more self-assured, independent, and strong. Not that it's all roses now. I mean, I am lonely and have serious trust issues that keep me from wanting to let someone into my life. But, one step at a time.

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Business Time.

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 23:11:19 -0400

Guys at my work were talking about this clip this morning. I'd never seen it before and I thought it was kinda funny/cute. So here it is!

Business Time

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Scattered Saturday

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:05:38 -0400

Boys Name: Gerald
Book Title: Great Expectations
Places to Eat: Garlic Jim's Pizza
Drink: Greyhound
Flower: Gardenia
Dog Breed: Great Dane
Song: Going Down
Food: Grapes
Sport: Golf
Clothing: G-string

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Today I will....

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 12:34:08 -0400

Go to the gym.
Let my landlord know I am moving out at the end of the month.
Conquer that big ass pile of dirty laundry in my bedroom.
Accept Derek's offer to go see a movie on Sunday.
Invite Mr. Salt Lake out to Jacksonville for a visit. or should I say "visit!" ;)
Cook myself a healthy dinner of salmon, brown rice, and veggies.

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You got the time?

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:39:17 -0400

I learned something new today.

OK, here's the situation. My friend Miriam and I were eating lunch with 4 male co-workers today. She all of a sudden said, "oh, I need to return a text real quick." And all the guys were like, "Oh, this guy is into you!" She's like, "What?!?" So there was a long conversation about dating/relationships and what time of day and what day of the week a guy calls or texts a woman.

The main point was that, if a guy texts/calls a girl, in the middle of a work day when he is at work, he is really into her. He likes her a lot.

So during the week, there is a huge difference between texting/calling during the middle of the day or after work. After work isn't as significant. And if he calls/texts in the evening then he's not into her. And if he calls/texts while drinking beers with co-workers, after leaving a bar or late in the evening, then he's really not into her at all. This is only good for during the week, for a guy who works a standard (8-5) work shift. It would then vary for guys working other shifts, but the main point being the same, that if he calls/texts during his work, he's into her.

Pretty much every guy at Fidelity agreed. They were like, I can't believe you hadn't figured this out yet.... it's pretty simple.

And some of the guys who were total players all added this: If they are really into a girl, really like her, or just really want to get her into bed, then then will send a "Good Morning Text" where they text first thing in the morning, so their text is the first thing she gets in the morning. They were all like, "That one is just right over the top!!"

So in my brief summation here is the general conclusion.

Time of First Call/Text of the Day         Meaning       ___
In the middle of the work day:               Really into her.
Right after work:                                  Into her.
Evening:                                             Not into her.
At night/At a bar:                                Not into her/doesn't even respect her.
First thing in the morning:                  REALLY F-ING into her

They say it all goes back to the basic way of telling if a guy is into a girl or not. It all depends on how much effort he is putting in towards her.

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Going private, sorta.

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:16:05 -0400

I had to change most of my recent posts to "neighborhood only" because blogging came up as a topic at work today. So a lot of my co-workers (and one in particular!) know I have a Vox blog now. So, for reasons known to those who've read my stuff lately, I decided not to make that public info anymore. Feel free to add me to your neighborhood, and I'll add you to mine.

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QotD: Lessons from Dad

nobody@vox.com(Miss Joy) — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 17:33:29 -0400

What lesson did your father teach you that still helps you in life?

I learned that life will most likely be difficult. That I will probably struggle for attention and affection from the ones I love and still be left feeling empty in the end.

My dad wasn't the type of guy who liked kids. In fact, I didn't see him much when I was growing up, and when I did, it's wasn't an affectionate interaction. It was sort of cold and distant. We did start to become closer when I was about 16 or 17. We started to interact like adults and get to know each other a bit better.

I did find out from one of my aunts about the time that I was 20, that my mother had initially lied to my father about being on birth control. When they were dating, he told her he never wanted to get married or ever have children. He didn't like kids, he had a very violent and abusive upbring, and didn't want to pass that along to his children, so he would never want children of his own. My mother thought she could change him, so went off birth control, and ended up getting pregnant with my brother. I asked both my mom and dad about it and got slightly different versions, but essentially the story is true.

I never really asked my dad about his upbringing. But I learned from his sisters that their mother was an abusive and neglectful alcoholic. She would alternate beating the living hell out of them, with going on week-long and sometimes several-month-long benders where they wouldn't see her at all. Once they got a postcard from her stating that she wasn't sure how she ended up in a fishing village in Alaska, but was now working in a bar in a fish camp working up enough money for a trip home. They said she came home about 3 months later. Both my dad's sisters ended up being alcoholics themselves, and were violent in their home lives as well. I think my dad distanced himself from everything because he wanted to be the last link in that chain. He never drank, worked all the time, and didn't spend any time with his kids because he was afraid he would end up being abusive or something.

My dad died of a sudden heart attack, the day after Christmas, when I was 28. He was 57. I always regret that I never got more time to know him, or ever got to really get to know him as a person. I feel that I had an empty void in my heart growing up, and when I got to be an adult, I am full of grief and regret. I do love him with all my heart, and don't hold any ill feelings toward him. But I do believe that a lot of my insecurities and problems with my personal relationships come from my relationship with him.

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