4 posts tagged “dating”

I learned something new today.

OK, here's the situation.  My friend Miriam and I were eating lunch with 4 male co-workers today.  She all of a sudden said, "oh, I need to return a text real quick."  And all the guys were like, "Oh, this guy is into you!"  She's like, "What?!?"  So there was a long conversation about dating/relationships and what time of day and what day of the week a guy calls or texts a woman.

The main point was that, if a guy texts/calls a girl, in the middle of a work day when he is at work, he is really into her.  He likes her a lot.

So during the week, there is a huge difference between texting/calling during the middle of the day or after work.  After work isn't as significant.  And if he calls/texts in the evening then he's not into her.  And if he calls/texts while drinking beers with co-workers, after leaving a bar or late in the evening, then he's really not into her at all.  This is only good for during the week, for a guy who works a standard (8-5) work shift.  It would then vary for guys working other shifts, but the main point being the same, that if he calls/texts during his work, he's into her.

Pretty much every guy at Fidelity agreed.  They were like, I can't believe you hadn't figured this out yet.... it's pretty simple.

And some of the guys who were total players all added this:  If they are really into a girl, really like her, or just really want to get her into bed, then then will send a "Good Morning Text" where they text first thing in the morning, so their text is the first thing she gets in the morning.  They were all like, "That one is just right over the top!!"

So in my brief summation here is the general conclusion.

Time of First Call/Text of the Day         Meaning       ___   
In the middle of the work day:               Really into her.
Right after work:                                  Into her.
Evening:                                             Not into her.
At night/At a bar:                                Not into her/doesn't even respect her.
First thing in the morning:                    REALLY F-ING into her

They say it all goes back to the basic way of telling if a guy is into a girl or not.  It all depends on how much effort he is putting in towards her.

This was from Connie.  I thought it was beautiful, so I should pass it on.

The best forwarded e-mail I received today.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
 
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!"
 
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
 
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.
 
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
 
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
 
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
 
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
 
Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
 
I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset.
 
I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
 
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest... I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
 
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning... This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
 
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
 
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
 
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore."
 
She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?", she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew," I said, "I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart."
 
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart."
 
The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
 
If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a marriage.
 
Relationships are made not to exploit, not to be broken.

We teach some by what we say
We teach some more by what we do
But we teach most by what we are
- Unknown

 You don't get to choose how you are going to die, or when, but, you can decide how you are going to live, here and now.
 
Remember:

People will forget what you said...
People will forget what you did...
But people will never forget how you made them feel....

I have been working my new job at Fidelity Investments, studying for my Series 7 and 63 exams, trying to make new friends, trying to balance my own life with that of working 40 hours and studying 20 on top of that every week, and trying not to miss living in Seattle.

I haven't had a boyfriend or any "attention" in like 6 weeks.  That's like the longest I've gone in my life, OK, maybe not, but with all the added stress in my life, it really feels like it.

There's lots of temptation at my work, it's about 90% men of almost 1,000 people.  But I keep reminding myself that if I don't pass my Series 7, there won't be a job at all for me.  Everyone keeps reminding me that if I've got free time in my life or my schedule, then I am probably not doing enough to study for the exam and will probably fail.  I am so stressed about it, my stomach aches all day, everyday.  I wake up with nightmares of failing the exam or putting clients on hold and falling asleep at my desk from staying up until 1am and getting up at 5 every morning.

I have noticed one guy in particular at my work that makes my heart rate pick up every time he's around.  He's on Help Desk, which is where we transfer any difficult or complicated trades or questions.  He's super smart and really nice.  But he works the late shift, like 3pm until 1am or something.  He's got those beautiful Scandinavian good looks and seems very down to earth as well, he doesn't seem to notice just how entirely hot he is.  But I have no idea if he's got a woman in his life.  I am on the day shift and everyone I talk to has no idea who he is.  So I can't get any background info on him, and don't want to seem obvious by asking him, "So you got a woman?" "Would you like one?"  hahaha.

I think I've just gone too long without any attention from men.  It might be good for me to just focus on myself and my career at this point.  I have been trying to put men aside and out of my head for now, but that's difficult.  I notice I think about sex like all day.  When I am in training, I have this one class director who has this really sexy thing about him.  He's got really dark hair, lightly tan skin, and ice blue eyes.  He's married and has a baby, so I don't even talk to him.  But when we are in class, I sometimes zone out thinking about tearing all his clothes off.
 
I have one new female friend at my work.  Leanne.  She's really sweet.  She's like 34 or something, but doesn't act it.  She was a runway model for 12 years, she retired a few years ago and worked in mortgages while the market was booming.  She's really sexy has this Nicole Kidman thing about her.  We walk the stairwell at breaks to get some exercise and it's fun to walk around the office with her.  I notice when she and I walk around together, all the guys in the office start popping their heads over their cubicles, like little groundhogs.  It's funny to see all these heads pop up and stare at us as we walk by.  We just need to figure out where in the building Help Desk is located, so we can walk by together and get Mr. Help Desk to notice!  :P

So that's about it for my life these days.  Oh wait.  I did go on a 3rd date with that Doctor guy.  But he still hasn't even tried to kiss me yet.  So I just really don't know what to make of him.  Slow and sweet?  Loser?  Platonic?  I don't know.  I am just going to sit back, not email or call him, and see what he does next.  I just don't want to make the mistake again of chasing after some guy who isn't 100% into pursuing me.  There's plenty of men around me all day to distract me from thinking about any one guy for too long.

I found this on Flutterbox's blog.  I had to keep passing it on.  It's awesome!