1 post tagged “update”

I have been working my new job at Fidelity Investments, studying for my Series 7 and 63 exams, trying to make new friends, trying to balance my own life with that of working 40 hours and studying 20 on top of that every week, and trying not to miss living in Seattle.

I haven't had a boyfriend or any "attention" in like 6 weeks.  That's like the longest I've gone in my life, OK, maybe not, but with all the added stress in my life, it really feels like it.

There's lots of temptation at my work, it's about 90% men of almost 1,000 people.  But I keep reminding myself that if I don't pass my Series 7, there won't be a job at all for me.  Everyone keeps reminding me that if I've got free time in my life or my schedule, then I am probably not doing enough to study for the exam and will probably fail.  I am so stressed about it, my stomach aches all day, everyday.  I wake up with nightmares of failing the exam or putting clients on hold and falling asleep at my desk from staying up until 1am and getting up at 5 every morning.

I have noticed one guy in particular at my work that makes my heart rate pick up every time he's around.  He's on Help Desk, which is where we transfer any difficult or complicated trades or questions.  He's super smart and really nice.  But he works the late shift, like 3pm until 1am or something.  He's got those beautiful Scandinavian good looks and seems very down to earth as well, he doesn't seem to notice just how entirely hot he is.  But I have no idea if he's got a woman in his life.  I am on the day shift and everyone I talk to has no idea who he is.  So I can't get any background info on him, and don't want to seem obvious by asking him, "So you got a woman?" "Would you like one?"  hahaha.

I think I've just gone too long without any attention from men.  It might be good for me to just focus on myself and my career at this point.  I have been trying to put men aside and out of my head for now, but that's difficult.  I notice I think about sex like all day.  When I am in training, I have this one class director who has this really sexy thing about him.  He's got really dark hair, lightly tan skin, and ice blue eyes.  He's married and has a baby, so I don't even talk to him.  But when we are in class, I sometimes zone out thinking about tearing all his clothes off.
 
I have one new female friend at my work.  Leanne.  She's really sweet.  She's like 34 or something, but doesn't act it.  She was a runway model for 12 years, she retired a few years ago and worked in mortgages while the market was booming.  She's really sexy has this Nicole Kidman thing about her.  We walk the stairwell at breaks to get some exercise and it's fun to walk around the office with her.  I notice when she and I walk around together, all the guys in the office start popping their heads over their cubicles, like little groundhogs.  It's funny to see all these heads pop up and stare at us as we walk by.  We just need to figure out where in the building Help Desk is located, so we can walk by together and get Mr. Help Desk to notice!  :P

So that's about it for my life these days.  Oh wait.  I did go on a 3rd date with that Doctor guy.  But he still hasn't even tried to kiss me yet.  So I just really don't know what to make of him.  Slow and sweet?  Loser?  Platonic?  I don't know.  I am just going to sit back, not email or call him, and see what he does next.  I just don't want to make the mistake again of chasing after some guy who isn't 100% into pursuing me.  There's plenty of men around me all day to distract me from thinking about any one guy for too long.